Thursday, November 27, 2008

DEPARTURE

that day of departure,
from your life, your love
still pains in my heart
whenever those memories reappear

I was so brave
said, “ I don’t need you”
you were even better
you reacted as if it didn’t matter

my hands wanted to touch you
for the last time
once, just once
to wipe the tears
only if they were
to roll down your
beautiful face,
your grace;
was not to be maligned
at that moment

and the tear din't come out
proving it to be your friend
and so my hand
left in the air
motionless!

I was frozen
motionless!

eyes filled with despair
and remorse and a desire
to be near

wished to tell you
“I need you”
“you are mine”
“you are my sunshine”

my heart choked
with the fear of losing you
what would be left with me
without you

I should break-down
like a kid;
I should cry
my ego held me back
real men don’t cry

moved on, as we, saying;
“got to keep up with the world”;
smiled at each other
wishing it would lessen our pain

you turned away, then I
so against our will
to take on this mean life
alone…..

my steps were heavy yet quick
running away from you
searching for a corner
to move out of your sight
for a shoulder
on the life’s street

just then
two tears saw the day light
one
in my eyes.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

if you were close

darker the night goes
as freezing wind blows
it makes me feel lonely
wishing if you were close

I couldn't help falling in love
signs were sent from sky above
elements made me incomplete without you
leaving me craving if you were close

we would've sat hand in hand
we would've talked 'bout distant land
land nurturing our love-rose
only if you were close

I love you with a true heart
a matter of moments that we are apart
now I have strength to propose
only if you were close

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

JUST ANOTHER GIRL

why is it so you are not just another girl to me
why is it so you are dearest to me
why is it so I find myself in you
why is it so I want no one after you

why am I not bothered when you are dressed badly
why do I always feel proud when you look gorgeous
why do I always feel being around you is best I can do
why do I always want to listen to you

how have I developed interest in skin and chemistry
how happy I feel when you ‘top’ the university
how much do I pray you are never alone
how much do I fear you will be gone

why do I seek your presence in my moments of loneliness
why do I wish you were near in my moments of happiness
why do I always want to express something to you
why can’t I tell how much I love you

why do I feel you were with me when it rains
why do I feel you were with me when it pains
why do I wish you were the only one I wished for
why do I believe you are the only one I wish for

why do I want to run up to you and hold you in my arms
why do I want to hear your heart beat faster when we dance
why do I want to see you sleep peacefully
why do I wish you are always happy

why is it so that I find ways to talk to you
why is it so that I cant find anyone like you
why is it so you are not just another girl to me
why is it so you have become so important to me

why do I wish to see you in my rear view mirror
why do I want to take you far from here
why do I want to hold your hand
why do I try to keep holding sand

why is the journey meaningless when you are not with me
why is it so you are not just another girl to me

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bloom with the Spring!!

Yes, I have...(you may hold your hand close to your ears to yell .. Naahhhiiiii) dared to write few poems. Sometimes to express myself, sometimes to make someone feel happy, sometimes to remember how beautiful moon can appear when you see night sky lit with stars, spread over a small township in the valley, which imitates the sky above with the light of numerous bulbs escaping from the closely huddled houses.
This picture was painted when we were looking at Solan from the road while returning from Shimla. I was one amongst few lucky people in the bus perched on window seat measuring the depth of valleys at every turn.

About this particular poem, it was written when I had to gather strength for myself. It is the weakness of human relations that makes us work hard to sustain them. Sometimes the work works (for lucky people), sometimes it does not.



BLOOM WITH THE SPRING!!

I AM BORN AGAIN

though I never died
there was a storm inside
with no place to hide
running away from myself
towards none, no solace
for my aching heart

determination got in control
few sweet words, little rock'n'roll
brought my senses close,
I chose
to find a new road,
to reform my destiny

like passengers greet
and share moments of happiness
to overcome their lonliness
to while away the journey
I met everyone who crossed my way

that stranger was the keystone
a foundation
fort to build upon
but the life was mean
accomodating only the
most keen

destination is the end of it all
caravan has to move on
in search of spring
to nourish my thirsty soul

strangers may be special,
desires apparently unreal,
aim being success,
life continues to stay restless

here is my life;
re-energised,
with all new goals
and a new design
for a spacious new fort
for me

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Google and Me - Our first professional association

I am a fan of Google. I have felt an association with the name since the time I first came to know about it. First thing that I googled on Google was ‘google’ to know what it means and why it means so. I have always taken pride in searching for immense volume of relevant information that was required for MBA presentations. My group members almost relied on me. Searching for information on Google was just like having a card up my sleeve. I remember, I was first to raise my hand when a senior named Nischal, entered our classroom of MBA freshers and asked “Who amongst you is best on Google?”

Nobody in the 2007 class of MBA-IB, Sec-C at Amity will ever forget a presentation on Google by our group that comprised of Arpit, Bharat, Biplav and Chayan. Assignment was to discuss Google as a ‘Product’. It was our first presentation on Marketing to be made to Mr. Vikram Barara.

Our group had four good-quality members. Biplav – a captivating speaker with a baritone, trained on voice-delivery platform to redress issues faced by a bank’s customers in UK. Arpit – a never-in-doubt person, who can take a stance and stay firm on it. Chayan – his greatness is his modesty, an unassuming person with keen sense to look the things in the way they are and finally ME. I too speak well in presentations and rely most on having a solid background research on the topic.

We have planned that Arpit will start the presentation giving details about what Google is, its meaning, founders, purpose etc. As he performed his part, I chipped in a bit early to take care of details without which, the research done beforehand would not have been visible. Consequently, the volume of words that left my tongue were too much for the audience to take from a single person in a group presentation. At this point, all could see that Mr Barara was done with his judging work and was waiting for things to get over. As people call it we were going through the emotions.

Here, let me add that by analyzing the previous groups presentations, we had more or less cracked what Mr Barara was looking for. As the groups came, presented and left, Mr Barara’s uneasiness was apparent. He wanted incisive information. He wanted ‘data’ in support of any claim made during the presentation.

So be it. He wants data, we will show data. A research or presentation serves its purpose only if the audience shows interest in it. We had thus included in our presentation, charts depicting trend of increasing popularity of Google over Microsoft or any other search engine. This was the strongest part of presentation and we wanted Biplav to cover it. So, as I completed my verbiage and Biplav’s turn came he was expected to perform. Did he do well!! Yes, he did extremely well. So well that Mr. Barara was delighted, ecstatic, thrilled and he smiled too. Actually, this also helped Biplav to create a platform of discussions with Mr Barara during the remaining semesters.

Chayan, being an IT engineer, followed up the presentation to detail the Page Crawl and Page Rank technology followed by Google. As we reached the end of the presentation, a few questions were asked in very customary manner. They were all tackled well, thanks to the research work done in advance. By the time, class mates got over with their questions, Mr Barara felt uneasy again. This time, a question was running berserk in his mind. He said “Just tell me one thing and you are through. Is Google a product or a service?”

This was a googly on Google by the veteran bowler, Mr Barara. It could not be lofted above the infield as this delivery had the venom to infect all 4 batsmen in one go. My team could not have endured any such attack.

I planted a front foot forward to get to the pitch of the microphone, and quipped “Google is a product for the company but to the users, it provides a service.”

Mr Barara judged the reply as valid and asked me to study more on that. His final verdict was 9 on 10 and my group had received many congratulations by that time.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Spirit of 'A City of Maals'

Talking about the spirit of A City of Maals, is it about the city or its people who lend charm to the city?
Is it something inside the non-believer that needs fine tuning?
Is the desire to seek the spirit of city real?
Is it just more convenient to put blame on others saying they posses a not-so-accepting nature?

Consider this, you are on the floor of Odyssey (disc in A City of Maals) where you have been invited by your office mates. Most parties in Gurgaon, unlike Delhi are office parties. Intent is more inclined towards free alcohol then beholding babes in your eyes. You will not get a chance to see any charming maiden, who you would want to bowl over, thus casting darkness in the scene for people like me who don’t drink because of some self-made rules.

Back to being alone, err.. did I talk about being alone anywhere before… Nopes!! But it is most obvious thing in office parties. You will stand near to the person who accompanies you for lunch in office everyday. Add to it, outsiders are not allowed. You cant get your best friend to enjoy with you and he has most probably dropped you outside the entrance and left for home, with a concerned advice to not to drink much and to give a call so that he can come and pick up your swaying and dancing body; entranced by the beats of music and tequila shots.

But now that you are in, what else do you expect. Really thumping music.. music that makes you want to lose yourself, music that brings all the strange people from office together, music that is sufficient call for people to shed any mask of rigidity or sternness or any other characteristic that marks superior-subordinate relationship.

You add a floor that glitters with LEDs, hang a globe-light (that is what I would call it) that rotates and revolves and mix a peppy Kajra re, kajra re.. tere kale kale naina.. with Aye Ganpat, chal daaru la… followed with ek glassi, do glassi for the insane hooligans holding Khamba in their hands.. and you have it. Best blend of whisky that you will find anywhere. Whisky blended with desire to seek fun.. outright fun.. desire that sometimes peeps out through the shirt stained by the beer that flew in the air when DJ gave a call to PUTTYO HANS UP IN DA AIR… did you notice rhyming… rapper in me showed its head for a moment.

Being a part of this crazy environment makes you feel involved, connected to the larger spirit. Watching everything that is going around in the strategically-illuminated-darkness, you feel you are the one who is being focused upon by everybody. All eyes seem to fall on to you, looking for an affirmative when they ask “This place is fun, isn’t it”. And your body reciprocates by holding the ‘head banging’ for a moment and releasing a smile for those eyes. Did you notice the spirit there!!

The spirit that has molded your desire and urged you to stay till the last human on the floor wants your company. That, I think, is the kind of belongingness you want to feel all your life. Welcome to Gurgaon!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Post-work recreation with Table Tennis

TT, it is there in my resume, prominently displayed on first half of first page and second half of second page.
The official mails which are marked to TT come to MY mailbox automatically.
An A4 size paper which dangles on the first soft board in my alley, has lent its space to two letters that read TT signifying the threshold of TT pathway.

It goes on to say that my office time is devoted to TT. Though my manager is not called Tarachand Trivedi or Tom Tatterson. TT simply means technology and telecom. That is easy for me to understand since I am associated with technology and telecom sectors of business since October 2006 now. This is what I was hired to do and I am doing it.

But along with TT came TT. This one is table tennis. My company has taken employee efficiency so seriously that it has allocated a space bigger than most of its meeting rooms for recreation purposes. It houses one TT table that satisfies national championship standards and one carom board. Doesn’t it remind you of a smoke-filled common room in hostel which had only one best seat to watch TV. If such arrangement can motivate young people to study and discuss, then obviously it has to be maintained in office environment for that continuous boost to energy level in work place.

Udit joined us to play today during after lunch hours. He is the top boss here and not a regular feature in our TT room. He played some good drop shots just adjacent to the net but a person can not be expert at everything. My partner and I were ably supported by Udit’s partner Achal and we won easily. Achal also won few stern looks and got chance to be mocked at by Udit all in the fun of the game. At this point, I will take the liberty to declare that I want to be an expert in TT. Technology-Telecommunication and Table-Tennis too, with higher degree of weightage assigned to the first connotation.

Then the day has some surprise in store for me. The letters TT have to change their meaning once more. The new meaning was not beginning with T any more. Rather, it meant Rohit Madhok. A wizard who was weaving magic on the yellow ball with agile swing of arm and dexterous movement of wrist using his magic racket. The auspicious moment saw 9 stalwarts of Firstrain in a huddle, having a common goal of victory over Rohit. And see the courage, bravery, confidence and everything you want to add here, Rohit had to play alongside a partner, who would be equally driven by desire and intent, to play against him. He had to team up with his enemy to defeat his enemies.

The enemies had one thing in common. They all knew how well Rohit played and respected him for that. They had the measure of this force they were to face. Innumerable combinations were tried to match up to the power and skill possessed by Rohit. His opponents came, they played and they lost. Everybody who teamed up with him won. It was a battle fought with fury, sledging, mind and power. But he knew what to do, like all heroes know. Stay calm and focus on victory.
This piece from Race – the movie comes to mind
“Tum mujhe hamesha harane ki koshish karte they aur main hamesha jeetne ki koshish karta tha”

One team that reached within sniffing distance of victory was when score was Game – 19. This was the team of Sagar and Bharat. Somehow, I think there should be someone named Ramanand around here.

When every one had tried all the tricks in their basket and had given in to the prowess of Rohit, they were treated with a game between Rohit and Sagar. It seemed like TT is played in completely different fashion. Rohit won that one too… Kudos!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Inspiration behind creation of this intervention in normal function of blog junction.....ugh!! stop it..

Sunday 27th July - I planned to see Dark Knight with my friends today. It was that old... umm... fresh rain, yet again, that inspired Me to start a blog.

I have tried to tether few thoughts in this box (thinking Inside the box...sigh.. I can never be creative) which otherwise have never known any bounds with all of MY might, together with
-MY prejudices;
-beliefs;
-state of mind;
-friends.... accompanying Me;
-lovely ladies In PVR Mainstream (which Is at MGF Metropolitan Mall and not at Sahara Mall);
-and other things that can influence the flow and direction of thoughts of any sane mind which I dont claim to posses.

Like, who would like to think If FM radios In Gurgaon would like to air the news about which sector In A city of Maals recieved rain the earliest.
Lets call Gurgaon A City of Maals where I dont intend to conjure the image of hugely decorated and crowded hanging out place.

Its bizarre!!...

You think so!!.. I BET you are not living in A city of Maals. Now, that I have won, I will start by telling you that It started raining at 1 PM (approx) In Sector - 56. This Is where I live. I gave a humble call to my friend enquiring if sky had a similar sized crack or bigger above the balcony and the plots of land where he says he lives. To my surprise and his skepticism, sky was offering bright sunlight to his balcony along with the plots of land where he says he lives. Obviously, his first thought for Me was "Yeh saala ditch karega". Not his fault.

People who know Me, from Amity days, know it well that I am perfect at not reaching in time. This rare skill has taken good number of years, equal to those of my presence on earth to develop. I have unknowinlgy mastered this skill well. Somewhat like a fisherman developing a new style of kung-fu, call it The Iron Fish, by noticing that his body movements while throwing the net in water can be used to defend himself too. Completely natural at doing what he has to do and unaware of what it might lead to. Do all major Inventions take place in this way!! Lets hope MINE does.

The first reason for my friend's disbelief was that it was not raining over his balcony along with the plots of land where he says he lives. His balcony is in sector 40 of A city of Maals. If you are preparing for CAT your quest for logic will urge you to think how far is his balcony from my house. It is 7 kms (approx).

Somehow, I made my friend believe by stretching my arm out towards the sky and letting him hear the sweet sound of rain drops testing touch-screen function of MY MotoRokr (my darling). I delayed (doesnt it sound sweet) my visit until the rain mercifuly gave in to my longing for going out and not getting drenched.

Few minutes after the clock struck the right time (unofficial definition of being late), I ventured out on the road-cum-waterways of this dazzling City of Maals. Within 7 minutes of bike drive, MY jeans and shoes were of same colour the road was. It was like watching Dark Knight literally. Hey, hey... MY Pulsar is just 1650 CC less than any best 1800CC bike in this class.

Focussing back on the rain, the rain set its spot light back on to Me. I had reached sector 39, place where my manager says I should work with lot more focus, intent and purpose and the place where I ask my manager to take care of my bank account. How could the caring sky there let anybody discover Me with soiled shoes?? It let itself open once again and it was pouring. Rain.. yet again.

However, knight and fear, these two words seems like have been picked from different planets. So, forward marched the Knight to embrace the scented drops of rain with smile and glory.

Within 7 more minutes of rain-pulsar show, the balcony and the plots of land where my friend says he lives were in sight. A pretty girl not standing in the front yard of her house. To catch a glimpse of her beauty, I had been in habit of taking not the first but second right turn. I felt bad. Why was not she there?? Even when It was not raining!!

It was not raining. Dont go back to read it again. I will write it for you. It was not raining. Within 14 minutes over a distance of 7 kms, My Pulsar and I had endured drastic change in weather.

After I had honked twice in front of my friend's house and was assured that he will be stepping out of the maingate on to the lands that held his house, balcony and the other plots of land where my friend said he lives, I had turned off powerful engine of my shining black Bagheera (panther, from the jungle book). I took a deep breath as I removed my head gear, to absorb any positive energy that rain might have brought with it. A kid standing In the balcony of adjacent house noticed my black princely locks of hair and yelled out

Oye GABBAR!!

Aye.. Ho gaya na kuch alag.. Achanak!!

Still I thought It was good he didn't call Me Clown!!

The superficial Idea, apparent from this chain of events, is to evaluate the feasibility of providing weather Information by FM radios In Gurgaon (A city of Maals) , indexed by the road name and type so that one can avoid or meet rain and decide whether to take second right turn or something better.


Disclaimer: Meanwhile, before you look out for a telephone directory to seek any enrichment through legal claims against Me, let Me clarify that I take no responsibility for the accuracy of the quantitative information provided in this space.